the contradictions of understanding

i was clearly led to go right, so i went left
i was led to be still; i frantically went on a search
i was led to be patient, so i rushed to find an answer

i got lost in a snow storm, while it was 89 degrees
freezing from the snow, on a hot summer day
lost and alone, in a room filled with people
i ran from despair, walking directly into it

and found the same mistakes i didn't make before
awaiting my arrival
proving that running from it - takes you closer to it

while being still, i went out for a month, one day
singing a song that the world heard - through my silence
i saw no one, and met a man
i married this man, that i never knew
he loved me to despair
and ignored me to greatness

he gave me a lifetime of joy with the smallest contribution -
my son being the magnificent result
i have not seen him in years
yet i look into his eyes every day

i gazed at the stars, while shading my eyes from the sun
and cleared my mind while pondering life
realizing that i knew nothing,
while knowing everything i needed to know
realizing that i HAD nothing
while thankful that i had it all.

the contradictions of understanding.

© TonyaC2010

bruised, but not broken

been put down
laughed at, frowned on
counted out, heart ripped out - and stepped on

pain fades, wounds heal
see me?
i’m bruised – but not broken

been dismissed – even “tsk-tsk-ed”
yet
i'm still thinking - not sinking
i'm still creating - still debating
i'm still believing - still achieving

bruised – but not broken

some see through me – past the heart of me
strangers presume to know me
to show me
who and what i should be
still, not seeing me
but thinking i should agree

i continue moving, grooving
sometimes aching,
but never breaking 
and always creating and motivating

i’m here
bruised, but not broken

my tears are simply a token
of the words my soul have spoken
through the love i express - i continue to be Blessed

and continue praying for those who’s insignificance forces them to be rude or unkind, because they are unable to find their own joy, so they try to steal mine……

but i digress

i’m still seeing, believing – achieving
conceiving - i speak LIFE!
still teaching, still reaching
for higher heights

still standing
commanding, demanding
withstanding
and finding joy and peace
beyond ALL understanding

watch me grow
deep down, you know
you won’t stop my flow
my glow
my “mo-jo”

i am bruised – but not broken

TonyaC2010
(inspired by Jackie - Make your haters your Motivators)