Last year, around this time, I was really just beginning to mourn the death of my father, who gave up his earthly vessel on November 25, 2005. He had not yet reached 60 years of age. On Sunday, December 10, 2006, my maternal grandmother died. My grandmother was Ms. Lillian Alexander, lovingly known to family, and friends alike, as ‘Big Momma’; or, if you chose to be a bit more formal, ‘Ms. Lilly’.
Big Momma was a 5 foot 3 inch, 130 pound (at her heaviest), filled with life, made the best biscuits – from scratch – this side of the GALAXY, ‘Big Momma don’t take no mess’, little ball of fire and God-fearing inspiration.
Ms. Lilly NEVER left the house without her coat/jacket/sweater, her hat (always fashionable, depending upon the outfit, of course), her heels and her lipstick. She was raised during a time when men and women ‘dressed’ everyday, always looking their best, and women rarely wore pants. Her manicure was perfect, her hair flawless, not a strand of hair out of place on her beautiful head.
Big Momma was very soft-spoken, although you clearly heard each and every word she said. She had a wonderful sense of humor and a laugh that was highly infectious.
Ms. Lillian Alexander was Blessed to live on this earth for 96 years, 6 months and 5 days. Yep, that’s right – 96 YEARS. She gave birth to 16 children, had more grandchildren, great grandchildren and great, great grandchildren than I can currently count and was loved by each and every person who ever met her. And, until a few years ago, she still made those GALAXY-famous biscuits.
I wrote the following as a comment on a Friend’s blog, not long ago, and it’s quite appropriate here…….Grief is grief. You do what it takes to make you feel better - you cry, you scream, throw a few things, run, exercise until you pass out - whatever - and then you move on. I've learned that we must enjoy the 'now', because you don't know what tomorrow may hold.
Yesterday, someone told me that the holidays will never be the same for me again. These are true words, but not in a negative sense. Each time I remember my grandmother, Big Momma, I will smile – sometimes even laugh - just as I am beginning to remember my father. I am Blessed to have known them both and to be a part of the lineage of both. Just as this is the season to celebrate the birth of Christ (the true reason for the season, in my humble opinion), I choose to celebrate the lives of my father and my Big Momma. And I choose to celebrate my own.
8 comments:
I'm sorry for your loss. But I do agree grief is grief and we all deal with it in our own way. Since it's around the holiday why not begin a new tradition, like purchase an angel tree ornament each year in *rememberance* and then when you put them on your tree the following year, all your wonderful fond memories will come rushing back with each one you hang.
Tonya you and I know to be absent from the body is to be alive with Christ and you will see both of them again. Celebrate your life after all a part of Ms. Lillian and your dad lives in you. Be blessed my sister
HELLO MY FRIEND...MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU IN YOUR TIME OF MOURNING.
SHE WAS TRULY A BLESSED LADY!!!
SHE WILL ALWAYS BE IN YOUR HEART!
GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS!
MS.RAE RAE
Tonya (((Tonya))) Thanks for sharing... love the foto... Yes grief ... the process ... the living in the now... It all spoke to me...
I want u back in 360 blogland (insert stamp of foot & "Waaaaaaaah"!) Hope this goes thru OK Thinking of ya - Carbon
God be with you in your dark hour. Loss is loss. We move on and we cope but it's still hard. I am here if you need me. I have tried to IM you a couple times but got no response. Hope I have you down right. Get with me ok? Thanks YOU for your love and prayers as well in my trials recently. I am blessed by you.
Tonya you are correct when you share the wisdom that we all should take heed of today, because tomorrow is not promised. How I praise God for the long life given to "Big Momma" and the vivid memories that has been kept alive in your heart & mind. Not to keep us paralyzed, but to celebrate in those memories as we do move on, and pass the mantle that was given to us. ((HUGS)) for taken me on this journey.
Life is to be celebrated....sometimes we have to shout and praise the loudest when we are hurting the most!!! Your memories of your dear father and grandmother will stand the test of time...because they have indelabily left imprints of the themselves in you....As someone still griefing the loss of my father...I can only pause...for a moment and say...yes..it is the season to celebrate....life! Bless. Elitha
Ms. Lilly was an amazing person. I am surprised that you never mentioned her to me before. I always look in the paper for the old African American women who have great great grandchildren, in the obituary sections.
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